What is your "one word"? One word for this year, one word for next year.
2011- Confused. I never knew what I was supposed to do. I had no idea if I should come or go, laugh or cry, stay or leave, fight or ignore, talk or listen. Though I knew relatively what I wanted my life to be like, the concept of making it happen was hard to put into action.
2012- Identity. I saw this word used by someone else and it made perfect sense to me. When I graduated undergrad in 2009, I knew exactly who I was, where I was going, and no one could challenge that. I radiated personality and confidence, and attracted likewise people in my life. Around May of 2010, I quit my teaching job that I hated, gave up my lease, gave up everything else in my life and decided to move to FL on a very impulsive decision. This story could take days to tell- but in the end it has not worked out, and I have lost a lot of my confidence & ambition. Being 1,000 miles away from a full support system when I needed it the most destroyed me. It's a big step for me, at the end of 2011 and now at the beginning of 2012, to recognize this, admit defeat (but learn the lessons from it) and now take the necessary steps to regain my life and most importantly ME. I need to realize that I'm still healthy, have a great family, friends that have stuck with me through the miles that separated us, and a master's degree I'm working toward. The concept of "hope", which is my other word, is what motivates me. Hopefully by this time next year I'll be more like the young woman I was in 2009 :)
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Day 30
If you could go on a trip regardless of cost, where would you go and what would you see?
In anything I've every responded to, this is always my dream question, or what I select to write about. There are so many places I'd love to return to. There are also so many new places I want to go to re-inspire that feeling deep in my stomach that makes me gasp when I see something so striking for the first time (like Salamanca's Plaza Mayor). Scandanavia, Costa Rica, Argentina, Antarctica, Thailand, etc.
I think I might chose Costa Rica at this point in my life. I could see myself renting an adorable bungalow perched in the middle of the water that I have to walk a plank out to and sleep surrounded by a bug net. I'd love to spend my days in a comfortable lounge chair making no decisions except those regarding sunglasses and bathing suits. At night I'd love to go into town and meet the locals, see their town, sample their bars, hear their music and experience their fun.
In anything I've every responded to, this is always my dream question, or what I select to write about. There are so many places I'd love to return to. There are also so many new places I want to go to re-inspire that feeling deep in my stomach that makes me gasp when I see something so striking for the first time (like Salamanca's Plaza Mayor). Scandanavia, Costa Rica, Argentina, Antarctica, Thailand, etc.
I think I might chose Costa Rica at this point in my life. I could see myself renting an adorable bungalow perched in the middle of the water that I have to walk a plank out to and sleep surrounded by a bug net. I'd love to spend my days in a comfortable lounge chair making no decisions except those regarding sunglasses and bathing suits. At night I'd love to go into town and meet the locals, see their town, sample their bars, hear their music and experience their fun.
Day 29
What was the soundtrack of your year? Of your life? Which songs most strongly represent the various eras of your life? What songs were playing for the most crucial, formative moments of your life? Or, if the chronological approach doesn't work for you, which songs best capture the different facets of your life? (Childhood, Love Life, Adulthood, Loss, Growth, Career, Happiness, Sadness, etc.) Please elaborate.
We All Want Love by Rihanna- as hard as it is for me to admit, this was the soundtrack to my year. I felt like, as she says, I was entitled to love. I tried and tried and tried, and maybe that was the problem. I stayed in a relationship long over, because I wanted nothing more than to love and be loved.
A Little Too Much by Natasha Beddingfield/Ass Back Home by Gym Class Heroes- my current hits. I'm back and forth, black and white. I go up and down. I suppose my life is a rollercoaster at this current moment, but I'm on the verge of feeling like I'm about to go back "home" both literally and figuratively. A literal move is in my future, as well as a change in attitude and circumstance.
As for the song of my life? I'll let you know in another 50 years or so :)
We All Want Love by Rihanna- as hard as it is for me to admit, this was the soundtrack to my year. I felt like, as she says, I was entitled to love. I tried and tried and tried, and maybe that was the problem. I stayed in a relationship long over, because I wanted nothing more than to love and be loved.
A Little Too Much by Natasha Beddingfield/Ass Back Home by Gym Class Heroes- my current hits. I'm back and forth, black and white. I go up and down. I suppose my life is a rollercoaster at this current moment, but I'm on the verge of feeling like I'm about to go back "home" both literally and figuratively. A literal move is in my future, as well as a change in attitude and circumstance.
As for the song of my life? I'll let you know in another 50 years or so :)
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Day 28
Do you consider yourself a romantic person? Do you prefer fancy dinners, roses and chocolate romantic, or are you more non-traditional? What's the most romantic thing you have ever done for a loved one or had done for you?
Yes and no. I tend to see romanticism in the small things no one else thinks about. I am a do-er of small gestures, and prefer someone like minded. That, to me, is true romanticism; in the hustle and bustle of an 8+ hour work day and whatever else life throws your way, you take a split second to think of something nice to do for your significant other. In previous relationships, I've bought small gifts for no reason because it was something I knew they'd really like (and we were no where near a holiday!), gone out of my way to make a wonderful dinner (and clean up!), given a long back massage (none of that 5 minute and my fingers are tired stuff), sent a cute text or picture, and plenty of things just because. The most romantic thing I've done is taken the initiative- because without me we'd have done nothing. I suggested, I planned (can you sense some bitterness here, haha), I carried through- but at least it happened, and I had a good time. Someone once asked me the most romantic thing a guy did for me and I could only reply with, "He bought me flowers." They thought that was sad. Flowers are nice, but I've always wanted them just because. Not because I'd been a "good girl" or accomplished something, just because you thought of me, and because, for christ's sake, you like me!
Yes and no. I tend to see romanticism in the small things no one else thinks about. I am a do-er of small gestures, and prefer someone like minded. That, to me, is true romanticism; in the hustle and bustle of an 8+ hour work day and whatever else life throws your way, you take a split second to think of something nice to do for your significant other. In previous relationships, I've bought small gifts for no reason because it was something I knew they'd really like (and we were no where near a holiday!), gone out of my way to make a wonderful dinner (and clean up!), given a long back massage (none of that 5 minute and my fingers are tired stuff), sent a cute text or picture, and plenty of things just because. The most romantic thing I've done is taken the initiative- because without me we'd have done nothing. I suggested, I planned (can you sense some bitterness here, haha), I carried through- but at least it happened, and I had a good time. Someone once asked me the most romantic thing a guy did for me and I could only reply with, "He bought me flowers." They thought that was sad. Flowers are nice, but I've always wanted them just because. Not because I'd been a "good girl" or accomplished something, just because you thought of me, and because, for christ's sake, you like me!
Day 27
What does your office/home/bedroom tell others about you?
My bedroom has tan furniture (not chosen by me, it came furnished)- with everything else blue and pink. My comforter is blue with pink flowers, my curtains and soft pink, as are my bath mats. My shower curtain is blue. I have a small ceramic sign that says live, laugh, love, and another that says dream, and my 1/2 marathon metal hanging near my desk, but the walls are bare and tan. My pictures surround my TV, where I look late at night and early in the morning (the beginning and end to my day). My walk-in closet (aka heaven) is filled with bright colors and clothes, and other odds and ends I don't want cluttering my room. My desk area is occupied with strictly school materials, and the shelves above it are filled with partially school things, but other trinkets as well.
I think my bedroom shows that I am craving simplicity and comfort. Others have awed at the neatness and plainness of it when they've entered. Most of my life, I've had a cluttered room, trying to stuff as many memories and objects into my room as possible. Now, I just want to be surrounded by the few things that make me happy (a tiny carved Zebra, a picture of me & my 9 girlfriends from college, etc.) and soft colors.
My bedroom has tan furniture (not chosen by me, it came furnished)- with everything else blue and pink. My comforter is blue with pink flowers, my curtains and soft pink, as are my bath mats. My shower curtain is blue. I have a small ceramic sign that says live, laugh, love, and another that says dream, and my 1/2 marathon metal hanging near my desk, but the walls are bare and tan. My pictures surround my TV, where I look late at night and early in the morning (the beginning and end to my day). My walk-in closet (aka heaven) is filled with bright colors and clothes, and other odds and ends I don't want cluttering my room. My desk area is occupied with strictly school materials, and the shelves above it are filled with partially school things, but other trinkets as well.
I think my bedroom shows that I am craving simplicity and comfort. Others have awed at the neatness and plainness of it when they've entered. Most of my life, I've had a cluttered room, trying to stuff as many memories and objects into my room as possible. Now, I just want to be surrounded by the few things that make me happy (a tiny carved Zebra, a picture of me & my 9 girlfriends from college, etc.) and soft colors.
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